Military Family Deployment Guide Benefits

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     Extended deployments and separation from your loved ones can be especially trying and challenging.  As your children grow up and they are influenced by media and peer pressures, they receive mixed messages, making their transition from childhood to adulthood especially difficult. To help reinforce a positive self image, you can become directly involved in helping your children overcome these hardships. The Dove Self Esteem Fund provides you guidance on how to help your children incorporate these mentoring ideas in their development.   

     Whether you're a parent, guardian, sports coach or mentor, you can make a positive difference to the young people in your life. The following are some ideas and suggestions you can use in fostering healthy self-esteem in young girls:

	Teach children that their self-worth is not related to how they look.      Emphasize their talents and qualities. Don't focus on their physical appearance.		Talk with your children about self-esteem, body image and what it means to be beautiful.      The downloadable True You! Guide can help you to open up a dialogue with your children.
Be a healthy role model for your children Don't make comments about anyone's size or weight, especially as a "joke". Make sure that your child knows that you love them regardless of their size or weight. Treat fat and thin, tall and short, dark and fair (etc.) children the same. Build self-confidence and self-esteem through a range of activities, both physical and non-physical. Build good self-esteem in all children for who they are and what they do, not how they look. Feel proud of your child, regardless of their size or weight. Be creative and assertive in finding the right clothing and equipment for your child. Encourage healthy eating and physical activity for the entire family. Don't feel guilty or ashamed if you or your child is fat.
	Be aware of advertising and toys aimed at children. Notice how they reinforce gender stereotypes and body dissatisfaction. Encourage a conversation about how the child in your care views the advertisement or the toy. Foster critical thinking... and playfulness.
	Work toward identifying and resisting all forms of discrimination. Remember that prejudice against size and body relates to prejudice based on sex, race, sexuality, class and physical ability.

Volunteer Blazes New Path With Passion for Troops

By Fred W. Baker III
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, Feb. 2007 – When it comes to connecting troops and their families with services they deserve, Pat Kerr is in a league of her own -- literally.

Missouri State Veterans Ombudsman Pat Kerr shows off a photo of her daughter, Army Reserve Capt. Kate Numerick, who is serving her second tour in Iraq.

As the only paid state veterans ombudsman in the nation, Kerr spends her time battling bureaucracies, raising money and advocating for servicemembers, their families and veterans in Missouri.

But folks shouldn’t let the salary fool them; Kerr’s passion for taking care of troops began long before her tenure at the Missouri State Veteran’s Commission.

It started at home, right after the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Kerr’s daughter, an Army Reserve officer, was deployed two weeks after the war in Iraq started in March 2003. The care for the soldier’s 13-month-old son fell to Kerr. This came as Kerr was also caring for her husband, who was dealing with serious medical issues.

Even though Kerr and her family members thought they was ready, Kerr said, they quickly realized they were not.

“She kind of looked like a deer in the headlights with her notice,” Kerr said of her daughter. “Even though after 9/11 we sat as a family and made a plan. We knew she would get deployed.

“We were shocked,” Kerr said.

Kerr’s husband is a pastor and a licensed professional counselor. Her daughter is educated and working on her doctorate degree. Kerr was trained on coping skills while dealing with her husband’s near fatal injuries following a serious accident. With all of the education and training in her family, Kerr said, she realized that if she had difficulties, so would many others.

“We decided that if we, who had trained coping skills, … are a little overwhelmed by what’s coming down the pike, what’s going to happen to our Guard and reserve (members) who don’t have our professional background,” Kerr said.

So, two weeks after her daughter left, Kerr began organizing events like “Support Your Troops” at the state Capitol. Working nights as a secretary and dipping into savings from her court reporting business, Kerr paid for many of the expenses herself. The events drew thousands, and state officials began looking to Kerr to help set up similar events and soliciting her input on the development of troop-related programs.

Kerr also started advocating on behalf of troops who were stuck in the gaps between the local, state and federal systems. At that time most of problems troops were facing were not well known, she said.

“We started talking about the gaps in the system. And people would say ‘What gaps?’ So I would use real examples,” Kerr said.

“What about the guy who lost his eye in Ramadi?” she asked. “The soldier has three children, and his wife wants to come back to Walter Reed (Army Medical Center here) with him.

“Who’s going to pay for his child care seven days a week, 24 hours a day? Even if they have it in savings, why should they have to pay for it?” Kerr said.

Eventually Kerr was brought on board the state-run Missouri Veterans Commission with the mission to raise awareness of the commission and to identify gaps in the systems.

That led to the Missouri legislature, the governor, the Missouri Veterans Commission, and the Missouri Association of Veterans Organizations formalizing her position as state veterans ombudsman.

Since taking the post, Kerr has coordinated more than $600,000 for servicemembers, families and veterans through private citizens, corporations or veterans service organizations. Her efforts have kept 16 homes from being foreclosed on.

Kerr has helped a brain-injured soldier who was stuck in a hospital bed for three months without his family. A clerical error made it impossible for officials to locate his family, and his brain injury kept him from helping. Kerr reunited him with his family, who was only 30 miles away. She worked with the family members to get the soldier’s disability rating raised.

Kerr arranged services for a mother of four children -- three in diapers -- who broke both of her arms while her husband was deployed–. Kerr arranged for 24-hour care helping the mother with cooking, cleaning, diaper changing and getting the children to school while she healed.

There was also the Korean War prisoner of war who hadn’t received a penny of the benefits coming to him. He didn’t even know he was eligible until she began her outreach program and a family member asked about his health care.

Kerr’s service has even rubbed off on her grandson, Abraham, 3.

While caring for her grandson as his mother served in Iraq, Abraham regularly accompanied Kerr to visit injured troops.

One day when planning to attend a movie, Abraham had 11 cents in his hand. Kerr told him to put the money in his pocket, but instead he offered it up as a donation. “He said, ‘No Grandma – you give this to your injured troops,’” Kerr said.

“I was overwhelmed,” she added.

Kerr took the idea to the Missouri Veterans Commission and the lieutenant governor and parlayed it into a school education campaign. Dubbed “The Power of 11 Cents,” the program focuses on educating children on patriotism and America. Kerr said she wanted to allow the children to help support the troops but not focus the campaign on the war.

Originally started on Veterans Day, the program encourages younger children to donate 11 cents and older students donate $1.11. Abraham’s act of selflessness led to the creation of a statewide school outreach program that Kerr hopes will raise $50,000 for the state military family relief fund. Guard and reserve troops can apply for $1,000 grants from the fund.

Kerr’s daughter is now on her second tour to Iraq, and Kerr is again caring for Abraham. Her personal experiences help Kerr empathize with those she helps.

“I know these issues. I’ve lived these issues. I know what these families